Friday, September 5, 2008

stepping off the merry-go-round

September 5, 2008

So, here I sit again at Revue. The remains of my iced tea by my laptop’s side as soft jazz music soothes my theology-filled brain and slowly begins to relax the tension in my shoulders. Here I sit, writing, taking a break from reading ready to express a bit of myself thru writing. Not even quite sure what to write about today yet desiring to write nonetheless. Why is it that we do that? Why do we write even when we aren’t sure? Sometimes it seems like clarity only comes once we look back at what we have written, instead of having that crystallization of thought before the words appear on the page.

We can learn so much just by watching people, by observing. There is a man a few tables across from me, eyes intense on what he is reading and writing. His hair seems to silently swing in concentration as he pauses, red pen in between fingers, pondering something he has either just read or perhaps will write. His eyes gaze off into the distance, not really seeing the traffic that whizzes by on Olive street, not really seeing the older woman whoh pushes her elderly friend with bright pink lipstick in a wheel chair. Not seeing any of that, the man stares into space, foot beginning to wiggle in time to the jazz music that permeates the atmosphere here at Revue. We learn so much from watching.

Someone earlier commented on the slowness of the day today. “Today does seem to have the aura of slowness. But I think its what we do with the slowness that matters.” I replied. It does seem like a quiet day, a day where maybe much thinking can be done, a day for contemplation; perhaps a day for discovering God in the streets of Tower. Yet what will we do with these experiences? How do we embrace them and live them out in such a way that our slowness matters? I’m realizing that it is so incredibly easy to get caught up in the rush that society seems to push onto us. Its so easy to get on the merry-go-round we call life and never get off. Yet what if we chose to get off? What if we choose not to be hectic crazy busy but choose a life-style of contemplation? A life of discovering meaning? I’ve been reading a bit of Ecclesiastes recently—‘Meaningless, meaningless…a chasing after the wind.’ And maybe everything is meaningless but what does it mean to embrace it while it is here? What does it mean to LIVE the moment? To savor and to relish? To place life into each moment instead of sucking it away? To live and embrace each hour even if that hour brings us sorrow instead of joy? To realize that it is okay not to be okay…what does it mean to live?

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