Thai Church Camp

echoes of God's voice

Gray swirls
surrounds ominously
green leaves stand out against grayish hue
of clouds
hard bench of hut
spiciness of rice permeates senses
blue eyes begin to smile

one
drop
then
a
n
o
t
h
e
r
fall
slowly
bit
by bit

thunder crescendos
rain pours
blue eyes sparkle
our laughter echoes in the wind

reflections....

Hey all! how are you all doing! still having a great time over here! We just finished our last day in P.N. as far as teaching English goes, so much fun! I love the kids though I have to admit I think I have sung the Hokey Pokey for enough times to last me a little while. :-)

In all seriousness though, I love it over here and its going to be really hard to leave. I think coming back is going to be hard-but that's a good thing. I don't want it to be normal again. It needs to be different and I need to change. I think over these past few weeks I've really learned a lot about who I am and also about what God wants me to do. I'm not sure what the results will be and I know that there is a lot still to process, nonetheless it is encouraging. I'm realizing more and more how much I enjoy and love doing ministry. yes there are hard times, but there is so much joy to balance it out. I don't know-its hard to explain. Ricky suprised us with pizza the other night and we had some great group discussion. he encouraged us from Romans 10 and 12 about following God's call for your life. He said to dream big! I like that-I think so many times I dream too small, or tend to limit myself to one type of idea or one type of life. but I'm beginning to see that my life can be bigger than that-perhaps it needs to be. maybe I can only play a bit of the composition that God is writing for me right now-but perhaps it is more complex than I ever dreamed it would be. Ricky was saying that even if you only have an inkling that missionary/ministry is what God is calling you too follow up on it. I don't know what that means for me yet but I'm praying about it. It might mean going on an MBMSI Trek team for 7-10 months in the near future but I think it will be more than that. I don't think I can ever really be "done" with ministry....

We just have the church camp left and then we're coming back to Fresno! We are all looking forward to camp-it will be a lot of fun to have the freedom to talk about God. In the schools where we taught English we were limited because they were all Buddisht schools and we couldn't really talk about the God we serve. yet at this camp, those restrictions will be taken away. it will be neat to see what God does and how we get to interact with these kids and youth! please keep praying for our energy and that we would be able to love these kids and people in a very real and tangible way! Thank you! and Love you all!

P.N.

There is always so much to do here and so much to process! :-) We are back in Phanat NiKoam (I probably spelled that wrong, abbreviated we call it P.N.) and have been teaching English quite often. I love it though. We go to different elementary schools and teach for a few hours with large groups of kids. We usually do some group games and then break into 3 different stations. My friends Des and Julie and myself work on leading songs. The Hokey Pokey is always a standard hit-even for the 12 year olds. It is so much to fun to see them get so excited and laugh when they understand or when we encourage them with a "good job". They smile so much here-and it is so genuine, not fake. That is something I truly cherish over here-is the sincerity of everyone. Yes, we have people who simply stop on the motorcycle and stare because we are farong or what have you, but for the most part poeple truly are genuine.

Something that was a bit harder today was our short, 10-15 minute visits and 3 different schools. I'm not sure what the purpose of those visits was, but perhaps to open the doors for Aun and Somchai to come back and work with those schools more. We were there such a short time that it felt like we really couldn't do anything. It felt very shallow because there didn't seem to be time to get to really know the kids. Even with 2 hours its hard but its better. At the first school, the kids wanted our signatures, like we were someone famous, but we really aren't. At the 2nd school they served us drinks and what not which is part of the culture but just did not feel right at all. It was really hard for me and I'm not sure why. Perhaps because it was hard to be real and authentic because time was so short. I wanted to stay and do something with the kids, or teach them something, but there just wasn't enough time. I guess I felt like I didn't give and maybe that was why it was so hard. I think I"m still processing....

Somehow I don't think I'm finished here. Des and I were talking a few nights ago and she doesn't feel like that either. Something we are contemplating is in 2 years or so, coming back, renting an apartment in Chonburi and teaching English. Its something we are both praying about. I think I need to be here for longer at some point, though I don't have a clear idea yet....I love the Thai people and the kids here, I just can't get enough of them. I'm praying about it.....and would appreciate your prayers as well. We'll see what it means...

I Next week is chuirch camp and then its home! hope to write again before I leave but if not I love you all and God bless you! Thank you so much for all your prayers!

Khmu Village

So, we've been doing a lot of traveling recently. On Saturday morning, we left early from Chonburi to fly to Chang Rai and then we drove from there to reach the Khmu village. we actually spent the night in a town about half an hour away from the village, but went up yesterday morning for church. the Khmu people are so hospitable and welcoming. We were able to go to thier church service and it just felt like the joy has been overwhelming. It was amazing. so many people are so excited about God and content with so little. the kids there, were excited to learn a few English songs. i helped out in Sundayschool and we were able to teach them a few songs and games just for fun. I tuaght a small group, "Our God is an Awesome God" and they really liked it. they were even beginning to sing it by the end. One little girl, Sue, kept coming up to me wanting do the motions/sing the song over and over again. it made me smile.

This moring we went on a prayer hike up a hill to pray over the Khmu village. It felt like God's presecne was very strong on that hill and we prayed for his love to reach the people there and in the surrounding villlages. So much love and so much joy-I hope it continues to permeate the surrounding areas. I think it will.

Later today, we went down to the Golden Trianagle and I have actualy been in 3 countries at once-Laos, Burma and Thailand and now have a passport stamp from all three. Pretty amazing, eh? Walking over to Burma was an experience-we did a lot of shopping there. It reminded me strongly of Morrocco-so many markets and so many things to look at. a bit overwhelming. There are also quite a few people who beg there-women holding thier children, cripples on the street, little three and four year olds all asking for money. We were told by our translater (who is now a part of our team and another sister), Faa, and one of the missonaries here, Dave, not to give money but just to ignore them. It is so hard to walk by or as a woman stood by our dinner table, to just not make eye contact or tell them Mai, Mai (which means no). one boy, probably around 12, came and stood by by seat int he respectful positiong, waing us, just waiting for us to give him something. that broke my heart. It is so hard to know what do and how to respond and how to deal with this inner conflict and the hurt that sometimes overwhelms. It is definately something that I am learning and something I don't think I will ever fully understand....

I'm learning so much here-its hard to take it all in and there is a lot to process each day but that is okay. Its good tol learn and I am being challenged in many ways-more so than I imagined. Thanks for yoru continued prayers and support! I love you all!

silence of sky

tendrils of grayness
shroud sky
blue brillance peeks through
yellow edges gray
lines shroud
as chaos
of market meets my ears
cacophony of sound
yet
silence of sky
beckons
me
whispers
my
name

Saulations from Thailand

Hello everyone. I know its been a while since I used this blog, but I thought it might be a good way to keep in touch with everyone over my missions trip to Thailand! So far, the first few days have been very full but wonderful. We "lost" a day due to our travel, so I feel about a day off and keep thinking today should be Wednesday instead of Thursday, but I'm getting used to it bit by bit.

Currently, I'm typing from an internet cafe in Chonburi, just down the street from TLC, the Life Center, which is the church where we are staying for the first few days. We've already had a few very busy days of ministry and it looks like most days will be full, but I'm looking forward to it! Yesterday, in the morning, we helped to clean at ALH (the abundant life home, the boys' orphanage) in the morning and in the afternoon got the chance to teach English at a local elementary school with the Power girls, a team of 3 girls from Canada who are here for the summer. Even though we were just "assisting" I still had so much fun. We sang songs, helped them with their work sheets, and when it was time to say good-bye, we were swarmed with kids who just wanted to hug us so much. It was like they couldn't get enough. They kept waving as long as they could-and smiling, always smiling. My heart really goes out these kids, though I can't exactly explain why. I think I might want to come back and spend more time with these kids.

Yesterday afternoon we ran a sports camp, which we'll also be doing on Friday. My friend Desiree and I taught the basketball portion. I know, me the non-athletic girl teaching basket ball. It was a lot of fun. :-) We taught the kids how to dribble, pass and played a few games. One girl in particular was having a hard time shooting so I took time to teach her. I think I will always remember the look on her face when she shot and made the basket for the first time. Her face lit up and her eyes sparkled as she smiled.

Today, we helped to level the foundation for a playground at another elementary school in Ansuila, another city not to far from here. At recess, we were able to take a break to play with the kids which was a lot of fun! :) I attempted to join in in one of their jump-rope games, which they were thoroughly excited about, taught them limbo and hand games! I had one little boy who kept coming back for more and more of the same hand game. He liked it so much-I hope he teaches it to some of his friends. Tomorrow evening, we leave for Chang Rai on a sleeper train, where we will get the chance to teach English in the local Khmu village, where another church is being planted by team 2000. I'm looking forward to it and have a feeling I'll be stretched in many different ways! Sometimes it gets a bit overwhelming, and I hope to have time to process but I'm sure that will work out as it needs to.

Its so green here-I love it and its hot and humid, but we're getting used to it. There is so much to take in every day but I love it and I can't wait to see what is going to happen next.

Shaloam.